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nternationa! Copyrighted (in England, her Cdl- 
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No. 426 



Twelve Good Men 
and True 

A COMEDY IN ONE ACT 

BY 
BESSIE SPRINGER BREENE 



Copyright, 1922, by Samuel French ♦ 

A)n(ifci(}'s may produce this play without payvievt of 
royalty. All other >'ights reserved. 



Price 30 Cents 



New York 

SAMUEL FRENCH 

Publisher 

28-30 West :i8'rH Street 



London 

SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 

26 Southampton Street 

STRAND 






THE REJUVENATION OF AUNT MARY. 

The famous comedy in three acts, by Anne Warner. 7 males, 6 
females. Three interior scenes. Costumes modern. Plays 2J4 hours. 

This is a genuinely funny comedy with splendid parts for "Aimt 
Mary," "Jack," her lively nephew; "Lucinda," a New England an- 
cient maid of all work; "Jack's" three chum.s; the Girl "Jack" loves; 
"Joshua," Aunt Mary's hired man, etc. 

"Aunt Mary" was played by May Robson in New York and on tour 
for over two years, and it is sure to be a big success wherever pro- 
duced. We strongly recommend it. Price, 60 Cents. 



MRS. BUMSTEAD-LEIGH. 

A pleasinfe comedy, in three acts, by Harry James Smith, author of 
"The Tailor-Made Man." 6 males, 6 females. One interior scene. 
Costumes modern. Plays 2J4 hours. 

Mr. Smith chose for his initial comedy the complications arising 
from the endeavors of a social climber to land herself in the altitude 
peopled by hyphenated names — a theme permitting innumerable com- 
plications, according to the spirit of the writer. 

This most successful comedy was toured for several seasons by Mrs. 
Fiske with enormous success. Price, 60 Cents. 



MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 

A most successful farce in three acts, by Frank Wyatt and Wil- 
liam Morris. .S males, 4 females. One interior scene stands through- 
out the three acts. Costumes modern. Plays ZYz hours. 

"Mrs. Temple's Telegram" is a sprightly farce in which there is 
an abundance of fun without any taint of impropriety or any ele- 
ment of offence. .\s noticed by Sir Walter Scott, "Oh, what a 
tarigled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." 

There is not a dull moment in the entire farce, and from the time 
the curtain rises until it makes the final drop the fun is fast and 
furious. A very exceptional farce. Price, 60 Cents. 



THE NEW CO-ED. 

A comedy in four acts, by Mar*e*J)5ran, author of "Tempest and 
Sunshine," etc. Characters, 4 maje^«? females, though any number 
of boys and girls can be introducefl in the .action of the play. One 
interior and one exterior scene, but can be easily played in one inte- 
rior scene. Costumes modern. Time, about 2 hours. 

The theme of this play is the coming of a lew student to the col- 
lege, her reception by the scholars, her trials and final triumph. 

There are three especially good girls' parts, Letty, Madge and 
Estelle, but the others have plenty to do. "Punch" Doolittle and 
George Washington Watts, a gentleman of color, are two particularly 
good comedy characters. We can strongly recommend "The New 
Co-Ed" to high schools and amateurs. Price, 30 Cents. 

(The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) 
SAMUEL FRENCH, :?S-30 West 38th Street, New York City 

New an;] Explicit Descriprive Catalogue Mailed Free on Request 



Twelve Good Men 
and True 

A COMEDY IN ONE ACT 

BY 
BESSIE SPRINGER BREENE 



Copyright. 192:^. by Samuel French 

Amateurs may produce this play zvithout payment of 

royalty. All other rights reserved. 



New York 

SAMUEL FRENCH 

Publisher 

28-30 West 38th Street 



London 

SAMUEL FRENCH. Ltd. 

26 Southampton Street 

STRAND 



^^;^^ 
V 



V 



StP23'22 



TMP92-0086* 



a\o 



CAST OF CHARACTERS 

(In the order of their appearance) 

Juror Number Occupation 

No. One Real estate 

No. Two MilUner 

No. Three Manicurist 

No. Four ' Club woman 

No. Five Schoolteacher 

No. Six Secretary of IVowan's Party 

No'. Seven Bride of six weeks 

No. Eight Housewife (mother of nine) 

No. Nine Housewife 

No. Ten Spinster ) ^^j^^^ 

No. Eleven Spinster ) 

No. Twelve Prima Donna 

Scene: A jury room. 2.00 P.M. 

The curtain falls for a couple of minutes to indicate 
the passing of several hours. 

Note : In presenting this play it must be constant- 
ly borne in mind that the action must be very snappy 
throughout. The speeches must be picked up in- 
stantly and there must be no lagging on the cues. In 
the places where the characters all speak at once, 
each member of the cast must endeavor to make her- 
self heard above the rest, thus creating the sense of 
confusion and the noise so necessary to the comedy 
element. 



Twelve Good Men and True 



Scene ; A jury room. 2.00 P.M. 

The curtain rises upon a room with tzvo windo^i'S at 
the back, sliaded zvith green shades that are 
drazvn up unevenly, and at right a door leading 
to the court room. At c. and at right angle to 
the footlights, a long, heavy table, and about it 
twelve chairs of the type used in an office. 
There is one larger armchair above the table 
facing the footlights and facing it ivith back to 
the footlights another. Dozvn each side of the 
table are five chairs. On the table in front of 
the arm chair a ballot box of the sort used in a 
jury room, piles of paper slips and at each place 
a pencil. The zvarm Spring sun streams in at 
the zvindozvs. 

There is a short pause and then the door r. 
is opened, and the jury enters, in the order of 
their numbering. As the last one files in, the 
door is shut behind them. 

No. One, the foreman, strides rapidly in. Very 
businesslike. Short, fat, red- faced. Wears an un- 
fashionable coat and an impossible hat of violent 
cerise, on which nods an aggressive feather. Speaks 
loudly and crisply, and is the bossy type. She seats 
herself at the head of the table, facing the audience, 
takes off her coat, adjusts a pair of glasses at a 

5 



6 TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 

perilovis angle and surveys the rest, with hands on 
her hips. 

No. Two comes in, smirking at the invisihle door- 
man, and sinks with what she evidently thinks is 
"killing" effect, into a seat next but one to the foot 
of the table. (See diagram for seating arrange- 
ment.) No. Two is flashily but fashionably dressed 
in the extreme of the mode. Wears a green, much- 
beplumed hat. large fur and a dress suitable to a 
reception. Several expensive bracelets jingle on her 
arms and vie with the diamonds on her fingers, which 
she makes sure everyone sees. She also "sports" a 
lorgnette. Her age is about 35, and she is good- 
looking, but too much made-up. 

No. Three walks in with a very "jazzy" walk. 
She wears a dark silk skirt, a very thin georgette 
waist and elaborate underwear. A sailor hat is set 
jauntily on her peroxided hair, and she wears a very 
expensive fur coat, gray suede shoes with thin gray 
hose, contrasting with the tan color ones worn by 
No. Two, and instead of the large bag carried by 
the latter, a silver arrangement wnth a lip stick, a 
rouge box, a powder box and eyebrow pencil and 
a purse rattle together on one chain which she carries 
in her hand. As she sinks into the chair at the foot 
of the table, crowding past No. Four, who is making 
for the same seat, she languidly removes her coat 
and procuring a huge "chew" of gum, proceeds to 
chew it rapidly and noisily during what follows. 

No. Four, an imposing, gray-haired matron, much 
marcelled and elegantly gowned in simple, correct 
manner, suited to the occasion, sweeps in and up to 
the seat, but is forced to step aside from No. Three's 
onslaught. Raising her lorgnette she gazes at this 
"specimen" and is about to sweep majestically to a 
seat as far as possible from this person, but as she 
gets around the table. No, Five sinks into this chair. 



TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 7 

No. Five is small, lean, middle-aged, with spectacles. 
Nervous, deprecating manner, wears a shirtwaist, 
dark blue silk, cut high in the neck, and fastened 
with an old-fashioned brooch. She wears a shabby 
but neat coat and a plain "home-made" hat. 

No. Six, bustling in, very "tailor-made" young 
person with huge horn-rimmed glasses and a mas- 
culine manner, flops into the seat on the foreman's 
right hand just as No. Four gets to it. 

No. Seven, small, pretty, young and fashionable, 
breezes in and preempts the chair on the foreman's 
left just as No. Four goes for that one. No. Four 
is getting stiiTer all the time. No. Ten and Eleven 
trot in and grab the seats on each side of No. Five, 
so No. Four goes around the other side of the table, 
but finds herself too late. No. Eight, stout, dowdy, 
good-natured, a face radiating good nature and an 
easy-going disposition, has deposited herself next tc 
No. Six. No. Eight is the mother of nine thriving 
youngsters. 

No. Four doesn't think much of sitting next to No. 
Two, as her expression and business with the lorg- 
nette states, but it is better than being next to the 
gum-chewing creature at the foot of the table, but 
again she is beaten to it. 

No. Twelve, affecting an undulating walk, and 
spectacular in her black hat, very large and extreme, 
her black wrap, her thin, black hose, her black velvet 
bag containing a large mirror, powder and other 
first-aids to beauty, her artistic pallor, achieved by 
liquid powder, and startling red lips, minces along on 
her high, black, suede pumps, humming a little tune 
under her breath. She sinks, with "every move a 
picture," into the seat between No. Two and No. 
Eight, and No. Four again raising the loranette, dis- 
gust written large upon her face, sees that No. Nine, 
a tall, angular, sparse woman, iron-gray hair drawn 



8 TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 

tightly back in a hard knot, surmounted by a hat 
boasting some roses of a dyspeptic yellow, a plush 
coat, gray cotton gloves, and nose glasses, has taken 
the seat on No. Three's right, leaving only the seat 
on No. Three's left, and sandwiched in between No. 
Three and No. Two, No. Four sits bolt upright on 
the edge of her seat and is oblivious to the attempts 
of No. Two to ingratiate herself with this important 
society matron. 

No. Ten and Eleven resemble each other. Both 
are thin, very erect, both are dressed alike in a cos- 
tume of the vintage of 1892 or thereabouts. Both 
wear hats set high on "rats," both wear old mink 
"tippits" about their necks, and both talk in a high- 
pitched, very rapid manner, and one or the other in- 
variably finishes the sentence the other begins. They 
are one in thought, actions and speech, and they talk 
constantly to each other or to the bewildered No. 
Five who is sitting between them. 

No. Nine, about to take off her coat, sees the 
shades are not evenly drawn, gets up, bustles over, 
pulls them straight, blows some dust off the window- 
sill, .sees a speck on the glass, takes a duster from 
the large bag she carries, wipes oft' the glass vigor- 
ously and returns to her seat, flaps the duster about 
her chair, says something to No. Eleven, sitting be- 
side her, about the "dirt everywhere" and settles her- 
self again in her seat. 

No. Six takes oft" her coat with a businesslike air, 
blows her nose loudly and is ready for business. 
No. Four, still wearing her coat, does not take it off, 
but fans herself with a handkerchief. 

As the rustle of seating them subsided, No. One 
rises and raps on the table. The chatter stops. 

No. One. (Consulting some notes which she 
holds in her hands) Now, girls, we might as well 



TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 9 

get down to brass tacks. I've made a few notes and 
here's what we've got to decide. James Snodgrass 
is suing Miss Ameha Stumps for breach of prom- 
ise 

No. Six. (JJ'ho has been consulting her notes) 
Mis's Stumps 

No. One. LocJk here, young woman, I'm fore- 
man of this jury, and I'm doing the talking. Let's 
understand each other right off. 

No. Six. (Speaking) But James Snodgrass 
says 

No. Seven. (Jumping up) Oh, I forgot to tele- 
phone Archibald. Excuse me just a minute. (Runs 
over to the door to the disgust of No. One and No. 
Six, rattles the door and it opens) I want to go out 
and use the telephone. (Stops short, amazed and 
angry) I can't? Why, I must. I want to call up 
my husband. (Furious, she turns to tJie others) 
This perfectly disgusting man here at the door says 
I can't telephone Archibald while I'm sitting on a 
jury. Did you ever hear of anything so silly 

No. Six. Of course you can't telephone 

No. Seven. Well, I'd just like to see anybody 
stop me from calling up my hu.sband. (Tries to push 
her way out, but is held by the unseen doorman.) 

No. One. Come back here and sit down and 
don't be a fool, young woman. 

No. Seven. But what will Archibald think 

(She argues zvith the doorman.) 

No. Six. Let's get started. This, ladies, is the 
first all-woman jury that has sat on any case since 
women got their rightful recognition. I consider 
this to be the opportunity of our lives to show the 
men once and for all that women are more efficient, 
more rapid in decisions, more just, less given to 
prejudice — in short, far better fitted to serve on 
juries than the men are themselves. 



10 TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 

No. Three. (Shifting her gum) My Gawd! 
(To No. FourJ She's one of them walkin' dele- 
gates. Good night! 

(No. Four surveys her through lorgnette and moves 
closer to No. Two, who, intrigued by No. 
Four's dexterity with the glasses, begins to 
practice the use of them herself.) 

No. Seven. (Loudly) But I always telephone 
Archibald between twelve and two, every day — 
(Consults watch) — and it's after two now 

No. Two. (Intent on impressing No. FouRJ 
He's darn glad of a rest. I'll bet. You know, I've 
been married four times — and divorced four times, 
too, and I know men from the ground up, and I'm 
here to tell you 

(No. One raps for silence.) 

No. Four. (Raising lorgnette) Very interest- 
ing, I'm shore (Draivs back from No. Two.j 

("No. One raps, hut all are talking to their neigh- 
bors. ) 

No. Eight. I always clean on Tuesdays, turn 
up the whole house 

No. Nine. Yep, nine kiddies — and Willie's my 
youngest 

('No. Five is looking wildly from No. Ten to No. 
Eleven, who are deluging her with conversa- 
tion.) 

No. Ten. The Ladies' Aid 

No. Eleven. Forty-nine suits of woolen under- 
wear for the Fiji Islanders 



TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE ii 

No. Seven. (At door, stamping foot) I think 
you're a horrid old thing 

No. Twelve. (Confiding to No. Three, who 
isn't interested) Caruso heard me sing and he — I 
sing a perfect high E 

No. Two. (IVarming to her subject) Yes, sir, 
I've tried it four times and now I'm thinking of a 
fifth — you get sort of used to having husbands 
around — I've got a milHnery store now and 

No. Ten. (Cutting in in high voice) Four hus- 
bands — dear me, dear me, how romantic. 

No. Eleven. (Joining her on last word) — 
romantic. 

No. Ten. Pitv's sake, what become of them — 
did 

No. Eleven, did they all 

No. Ten. die? 

No. Two. Die? Don't make me laugh. Why, 
the other night I breezed into the Brightlights cafe, 
and who should I see but Gumming — he was No. i. 
Well, I said to Jake — he's my new steady — 'There's 
Gummings' — and I hardly got the words out when 
who should I see but Solowsky — he was No. Three 
on my list — say, it was a scream 

No. Ten and No. Eleven. Dear me. dear me. 

No. Three. You're some fast worker, I'll 
say 

('No. Four pulls definitely away from this specimen 
but at the sound of No. Three's voice, she re- 
members zvhaf is on her right and looking be- 
tween the devil and the deep sea she pushes back 
her chair and sits a little distance from the table, 
bolt upright and fanning herself. No. Six 
blotvs nose again loudly.) 

No. Eight. What you got, adenoids ? My Rosa- 
belle has 'em and the doctor says 



12 TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 

No. Six. (Rapping for order and glaring at No. 
EiGHTJ This is a jury meeting, not a clinic 

No. One. And I'm the foreman — keep your nose 
in your own affairs and you'll do better, young 
woman — (Raps) — Kindly — kindly say 

No. Two. (To No. Threej I got a rich story 
to tell you, kid 

No. Three. Spring it — fNo. One, hearing this, 
stops rapping and leans forward to try to catch it, 
but No. Two, leaning over, has imparted it to No. 
Three, zvho roars zvith laughter) That's a bird — 
where'd you hear that 

No. Ten. (To No. FiveJ You ain't married — 
why 

No. Eleven. Ain't you ? What's your 

No. Ten. business 

No. Five. (Nervously rubbing her glasses and 
putting them on again) Really^I — don'f — why, I 
teach school. 

No. One. (Rapping) Listen, we've gotta de- 
cide about this case 

No. Eight. (To No. Twelve, posed effectively) 
My little Willie, he's the youngest — he's the smartest 
kid — yesterday he says — "Mama, why do fish 
swim?" I nearly died a-laughin' 



No. Twelve. (Mirthlessly) Ha, ha 

No. Eight. Yessum, I've got nine children 

and 

No. Ten. Nine — goodness me, Ma had 

No. Eleven. Ma had fifteen 

No. Two. And I'll bet she's dead 



No. Ten. Yes, poor, dear Ma Why, Annie, 

Ma died sixteen years ago to-day 

No. Eleven. So she did, poor, dear soul, we 
should have went to the cemetery 



TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 13 

No. Three. You're there now and don't know it. 
old dear 

f No. Ten and No. Eleven glare.) 

No. Seven. (At door) I insist on using the 
telephone — what do I care about the old law. I want 
to talk to Arch — (The door slams in her face, and 
she turns around zvith a gasp) — why, the rudeness 
of that creature 

No. Six. There should, of course, be women 
court attaches, then we shall have the right atmos- 
phere and courtesy 

No. One. If you'd all close your jaws for about 
two seconds, I'd like to say 

No. Eight. (To No. FiveJ School teachin's a 
hard business, ain't it? 

No. Ten. (Yelling across to No. FourJ Yes, 
ma'm. Ma had ten convulsions before she died. 

No. Eleven. But she looked real natural in her 
coffin, Manda 

No. Eight. (To No. Twelve) — home life- 



No. Twelve. (Languidly assuming another 
pose) Yes. yes, no doubt the home life is very beau- 
tiful, but I have my career — Caruso — when he heard 



me smg 

No. Nine. (To No. Three j She off again about 
Caruso? — Well, I live next door to her and have 
for five years, and I can tell Mister Caruso that she's 
no canary. — Who's putting coal in the cellar my old 
man says when she starts a-warbling. 

No. Six. (To disconsolate No. Seven, 2^'ho has 
come back to seat and stands tzvisting handkerchief ) 
Men are coarse brutes, my dear. T never saw one 
yet that was any good 

No. Seven. Is that so? — I want you to know that 
my Archibald is the dearest, best boy on earth 



14 TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 

No. Two. I'll bet she ain't been married long — 
two months. (To No. Twelve, ivho supplied the 
information) In another six weeks 

No. One. (Yelling) Say — do you want to stay 
here all night gassin', 'cause if you do. I don't. I've 
gotta get home. 

No. Eight. So must I. I i)ut a dish of beans in 
the oven just before I left. 

No. Nine. (To No. Eleven j They won't be fit 
to eat. she's the rottenest cook — I live across the 
street from her and 

No. Three. Sure, let's make it snappy. I've got 
a date. 

No. Five. (Timidly) Really I think we should 
come to some verdict — it's what we are here for, 
isn't it? 

No. Four. By all means, my good woman. 
Would you, ah. Madam Chairman, would you. ah. 
restate the case. There has been so much bab- 
ble 

No. One. (IV axing sarcastic) How many know 
now what we're here to decide ? 

No. Seven. (Flopping angrily into seat) Per- 
sonally, I don't care. 

No. Three. (Tapping forehead to No. Two^ 
Nothing above the ears there. 

No. One. If I can make myself heard above the 
din, I'd like to say that this is a breach of promise 
case. James — (She finally gains the attention of the 
others) — James Snodgrass is suing Amelia Stumps 
for $5,000 dollars' damages — he says she prom- 
ised to marry him and shortly before 

No. Ten. He seems like a very nice man, so 
good 

No. Eleven, and kind, and 



No. Ten. handsome — and if you want my opin- 



TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUP: 15 

ion, much too good for that Stumjis anyhow 

('No. Eleven says "7 think so, too.' ) 

No. Three. (Powdering nose) Well, you oughta 

know, kiddo 

get married. 

No. Two. If he was wise he wouldn't want to 

No. One. (Rapping) On the eve of the mar- 
riage, she called everything ofif, and as he had spent 
a great deal of time 

No. Three. It's all he spent, I know them cheap 
guys 

No. One. (Fixing Jier ivith a baleful glance) 
And money — money to the tune of twelve hundred 
dollars 



No. Six. It was itemized and- 
No. Seven. Archii^ald says- 



No. One. (Very loud to stem the rush of con- 
versation again beginning ) Twelve hundred is the 
amount, the lawyer says, and he is out that money. 
He wants five thousand damages 

No. Ten and Eleven. He ovtght to get it — the 
nice man 

No. Nine. Too much money. No woman's 
worth that 



No, Seven. Archibald says 

No. Three. Afy Gawd, who cares ichat Archi- 
bald says? 

No. One. (Ral^ping) We aren't getting any 
place 

No. Three. No, you bet we ain't, and T gotta be 
sitting pretty at 'nve 

No. Eleven. The poor, dear man, so 

No. Ten. good-looking. He ought to get more 
than 



No. Eleven, five thousand 

No. Two. SJie ought to get the cash, not tiini- 
No, Nine. Get out. It's her money already- 



1 6 TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 

No. Two. And he's after it. He ought to pay 
her — don't you think he ought to pay her.^ (To No. 
FouR.j 

No. Four. (Sfifflx ) Really, I haven't considered 
it 

No. Six. (Hearing) You should consider it — 
women must show that they are just as efficient as 
men 

No. Three. We're efficient. I don't think 



No. One. Will you all shut up and let me talk ? 

No. Nine. (Sotto voce to No. ElevenJ One of 
them gassy females, I know her kind 

No. Twelve. Oh, let's get started and decide 
something 

No. One. Well, first of all, 'do you think she 
ever promised to marry him ? 

No. Six. If she didn't there wouldn't be any 
cause for action. 

No. Four. And that is really the first sensible re- 
mark that has been made here this afternoon. 

No. Three. (Busy zvith lip stick) Ain't it the 
truth ? 

No. One. All right, let's decide that first. Pass 
the slips and we'll take a vote on it. 

(No. Six passes out the paper slips.) 

No. Seven. What will I put down? (Sucks pen- 
cil.) 

No. One. Yes or No. 

No. Seven. Yes or No, — what? 

No. Six. (Wearily) Did she or didn't she prom- 
ise to marry him? 

No. Seven. But how do I know? I wasn't there 
and, anyhow, I never meddle in anybody's business. 
Archibald doesn't like it. 



TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 17 

No. Ten. She never got a chance to marry 
him 

No. Eleven. She'd have jumped at it, such a 
nice 

No. Ten. — handsome man. 

No. Eleven. He's so spic and span and 
well 

No. Ten. — spruce. 

No. Eight. (As No. Six argues ivitli No. 
Seven J Willie said the cutest 

No. Nine. (To No. Three; My land, she's off 
again on that brat of a Willie. 

No. Eight. "Mama," he says, "Mama" ■ 

No. One. (Loudly) Put dovi^n on your slips. 
Yes or No. That's all I ask — (To nobody in par- 
ticular) I'm near dead now 

No. Five. I think the lawyer said something 
about letters she wrote him, saying she would marry 
him 

No. Six. (Nodding) That's right, he did. They 
were introduced as evidence. She wrote a lot of let- 
ters 

No. Two. (Waving pencil) There's where she 
slipped up. Never put anything on paper is my 
motto, and I've come through four divorce suits 
without a scratch. 

No. Nine. Guess they was all too glad to get rid 
of you to be fussy 

No. Ten. Isn't it queer how some women man- 
age to get married 

No. Eleven. Now we dress plain- 



No. Ten. but tasty — no gew gaws 

No. Three. Neat, not gaudy. Good night! 

No. Seven. There's my slip. (This starts the 
others and for a moment there is silence as all zvrite.) 

No. Twelve. (Under her breath, sings) "Oh, 
that I were sweet sixteen." 



i8 TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 

No. Nine. (To No. Eleven j Sixteen! She'll 
never see forty again. 

No. One. Stick the slips in this box. (Box is 
passed and slips are collected and No. One, aided by 
No. Six, begins to count them.) 

No. Ten. It's just like 

No. Eleven, church. 

No. Three, (Shifting gum) Only different. 

No. One. (Reading from slips) "Yes. Yes, Yes, 
No, Yes. No, Yes — I don't know." I don't know. 
Whose is this? 

No. Seven. I can't make up my mind, that's all. 

No. Nine. None to make up. 

No. Three. Only one brain, old top, and that's 
Archibald's. 

No. Ten. Well, I think it's beautiful to be mar- 
ried and be so one 

No. Eleven. — in thought. I do, too. (Both to 
No. Five j Don't you? 

No. Five. Oh, yes, yes, yes, indeed. 

No. Two. Well, I believe in having a mind of 
my own — I've had four husbands 

No. Seven. And not a one left either, I no- 
tice 

No. Nine. That's a good one 

No. Two. Say, nobody asked you to chip in. 

No. Nine. Is that so? 

No. Two. That's so. You look like something 
the cat brought in, anyhow. 

No. Three. Something fragrant from the alley, 
as it says in the Cosmopolitan 

No. Two. Do you read the Cosmopolitan ? 

No. Three. Well. I ain't blind yet. sweetie. 

No. One. (Finishing the slips') There are 2 
against and 9 for 

No. Four. The issue seems a trifle beclouded. 

No. Three. (Poking No. Four in the ribs) 



TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 19 

Clear as mud. old dear. ("No. Four is too full for 
utterance.) 

No. Six. She certainly promised to marry him. 

No. Eight. Then she should have stuck to her 
bargain. 

No. Seven. Oh, well, I might as well say Yes. 

No. One. All right, that leaves ten Yes and two 
No. 

No. Ten. She did not say she'd marry him, she 
never had the 

No. Eleven. — chance. No, sir. 

No. Six. You two are "No," then. 

No. Ten and No. Eleven. (Nodding) Yes, sir, 
we're NO. 

No. Three. Ah, come on and change your mind. 
Make it short and sweet. 

No. Eight. There's no accountin' for tastes. He 
might have asked her, you know. 

No. Six. If he hadn't there wouldn't be any suit, 
would there? Of course not. 

No. Ten. (Weakening) Well- 



No. Two. She had cash — and he was after it- 



No. Five. Actuated, no doubt, by ulterior mo- 
tives 

No. Eleven. Oh, well, to be agreeable Ell say he 
did ask her. 

No. Ten. Me, too. 

No. One. So far, so good. We agreed on that. 
Now, he spent $1,200 and he wants $5,000. 

No. Seven. What for? 

No, One. (Reading from notes) Figuring that 
he would be reimbursed after the marriage. 

No. Three. Well, the cheap stiff 

No. Ten. He needs something for his trouble— r- 
she'd stop 

No. Eleven, a clock. 

No. Seven. Archibald says 



20 TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 

No. One. If you can drag your mind away from 
Archibald long enough to 

No. Six. We have decided that the evidence 
shows that she did say she would marry him — now. 
is it or isn't it worth five thousand for him to be 
jilted? 

No. One. (From notes) His health has been 
ruined by worry and sleepless nights, his credit as- 
sailed due to inability to meet the bills he had run 
up 

No. Ten. The poor, dear man 

No. Eleven. It's a shame. 

No. One. (Heedless of the interruption) The 
$1,200 were the whole of his savings. 

No. Three. Ain't this the limit? Look at the 
time, near three o'clock, and I gotta date at five. 

No. Two. You aren't the only one with a beau, 
dearie. Same here. 

No. Ten. He ought to get 50,000, the poor 

No. Eleven. — dear man. 

No. Two. Soak her for five to pay HIM. I 
guess not. 

No. Six. The idea of a woman paying for any- 
thing. 

No. Three. It ain't done, that's all. 

No. Six. Here's the itemized account of what 
he spent the money for, or so he says : "Theater tick- 
ets, $200.00. Food at restaurants, $300.00 " 

No. Three. He ett some of it himself, didn't he? 
Sure. 

No. Two. He ate most of it. I know 'em. The 
gluttons. 

No. Twelve. (Dreamily and singing the first 
line of the song) It reminds me of a little thing I 
used to sing — "I'm eating my heart out for you., 
dear, to-night, to-night." 

No. Three. (Powdering nose) Companion 



TWELVE GOOD AIEN AND TRUE 21 

piece to "Where do we feed to-day, honey," 1 sup- 
pose. 

No. EouR. This Snodgrass person must he most 
pecuHar to sue a woman for breach of promise to 
begin with. I really never heard of it before. 
Women, doubtful sort of creatures, do so occasion- 
ally, I am told, but a man, really 

No. Two. I quite agree with you, Mrs, ah- 



(Pauscs for name. No. Four surveys her through 
lorgnette, but does not supply name.) 

No. One, We will take another ballot then. 

No. Three. For Pete's sake, yes, I gotta get out 
of here. 

No. Seven. Archibald will be wild 

No. Five. I have a lot of examination papers to 
go over. 

No. Eight. I didn't think jin-y duty would take 
so long. 

No. Six. It wouldn't if women would all pull 
together. 

No. Three. Let's do a little pulling so I can pull 
out. Pass the box. 

No. Six. We will ballot on the question, "Is he 
or is he not entitled to any damages, and if so, how 
much ?" 

No. Three. Answer Yes or No. 

No. Seven. How can we decide how much? My 
Archibald says he wouldn't take ten million for me. 

No. Nine. (Writing on slip) He's safe. 

No. Three. You've said a mouthful. 

No. Eight. Willie said to his father the other 
night, "Papa " 

No. Twelve. (Sings as she ivrites on slip) "I've 
been roaming. I've been roaming." 

No. One. Now write down Yes or No. Is he 
entitled to anv damages? Yes or No. 



22 TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 

No. Eight. {As she zvritcs) Who started thig 
jury business for women? 

No. Six. It is a woman's duty 

No. Eight. I've got nine children. Lord knows 
I've done mine. 

No. Nine. And none of 'em have had a bath in 
six months. 

No. Six. All ready. Pass the box. (It is passed 
back and No. Six and No. One count them out.) 

No. Twelve. I'm sleepy. 

No, Five. The air is bad. It gets that way at 
school. (Gets up and opens the ivindoiv.) 

No, Ten. Oh, goodness, put that down. 

No. Eleven. I can't sit in a draft 

No. Ten. Ma died sitting by an open window. 

No. Eleven. Do you know, I alius felt I'd go the 
same way? 

No. Three. You're darn close to goin' that way 
right now. 

No. One. We are lo against any damages and 
two for damages. 

No. Four. This is really very trying. 

No. Two. We'll be here all night. 

No. Seven. Oh, don't say that. Why, Archi- 
bald says he can't go to bed unless I am in his arms. 
(Tittering from No. Ten and No. Eleven. J 

No. Eleven. 'Tisn't decent 

No. Ten. When I was a girl I wasn't allowed to 
mention a bed. 

No. Three. What did you do, go to roost like a 
chicken ? 

No. Nine. I'll bet you roost, young lady. 

No, Three. At any rate, I'm no old hen. 
(Rouges, and No. Two powders.) 

No. Five. Don't juries disagree? 

No. Six. (Grimly) Looks like it. 

No. Five. I know, but isn't that usual? 



TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 23 

No. Three. God never made twelve women that 
would agree on anything, old girl. 

No. One. Juries disagree and the\' are dismissed 
aren't they ? 

No. Two. Now you're talking. \\c haven't 
agreed. We'll just disagree and everyhody can go 
home. 

No. Four. It is an excellent idea. 

No. Nine. I want to whitewash my cellar to-day 
yet. 

No. Three. Let's beat it. (Gets up.) 

No. One. (Rising) All right, I'm not stuck on 
being here. 

No. Six. When I was delegate to the Woman's 
Party Convention 

No. One. (Interrupting) Are we agreed, then 
to disagree? 

(All speak together.) 

No. Six. Yes, yes. 

No. Five. I think so, too. 

No. Seven. Goodness, yes. 

No. Ten and No. Eleven. Certainly. They 
aren't going to cheat that nice man. 

No. Three. You bet. 

No. Two. Sure. 

No. Nine. It's a good idea. 

No. Twelve. (Singing) Yes, yes, yes, my darl- 
ing. 

No. Eight. As my Tommy says, "You betcha." 

No. Six. This is a very speedy decision. We 
should be proud of it. 

f All gather up cloaks, etc. No. Seven rushes to the 
door and rattles it. Door opens and she is 
stopped by someone outside.) 



24 TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 

No. Seven. But we're all through — we're going 
home, and I have got to telephone 

No. One. (Pushing past her) I'm doing the 
talking here, young lady. (To unseen doorman) 
We have decided on a verdict. Yes — all right, come 
on, girls. 

(All file out rapidly. No. Seven, disgusted, and 
saving "What a boor" to No. Six. No. Three 
sticks gum under table, and goes out, getting 
into coat. No. Ten and No. Eleven talking to- 
gether: "Such a good-looking, nice man." No. 
Nine clbozvs past them and is buttonholed by 

No. ElGHT.j 

No. Eight. Did I tell you what my Clarence 
said the other night? "Mama," he said 

No. Two. (To No. Threej I got my divorces 
quicker than this. 

fNo. Five hurries out, putting on glasses again.) 

No. Twelve. (Resuming her "Dolores," walks 
and huniming under her breath) Tr la la, la la! 

fNo. Four, draining an'ay from the rest, surveys 
them through lorgnette and is Z'cry stiff but re- 
lieved.) 

No. Seven. (Crozvding in at door again) But 

it will only take me a second to telephone 

(Door shuts and there is a short pause. Then the 
door opens again and in they come, fairly falling over 
each other in indignation. All are talking at once.) 

No. Three. My Gawd ! 

No. Two. We'll he here all night. 

No. Nine. Goodness gracious. 

No. Ten. What did he say? 



TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 25 

No. Eleven. Dear me, dear me. 

No. Four. Really very odd way to do. 

No. One. Don't get so excited. The judge says 
we've got to agree. 

No. Six. He said no twelve women could even 
agree to disagree in less than an hour. That's what 
makes mc mad. 

No. Seven. What happens now? 

No. One. Go back and sit down. He says we've 
got to agree and we'll have to stay here till we do. 

No. Three. (As all flop info their seats again) 
There goes my perfectly good date. (Reaches for 
gum and begins to chczv it again) I call this Hell ! 

The curtain falls here for a fezv seconds to indicate 
the passage of several hours. 

As the curtain rises, the lights are lighted, and out- 
side the 7vindo-cVS it is dark. The time is about 
nine o'clock in the evening. The zvindozv is 
closed. About the room are piles of papers, 
slips, large crumbled sheets, and the table is also 
littered zvith rejected ballots. 

Jurors No. Two, Three, Six, Seven and Eight 
have taken off their hats and look mussed and worn 
to a frazzle. No. Four, not nearly as erect as before, 
still sits apart from the others, only farther to the 
right, she has removed her coat at last, but still wears 
her hat, but it is titled over one ear, giving her a 
somewhat rakish look. 

No. Three is still chewing her gum, but slowly 
and wearily, and No. One, her hat pulled down over 
her eyes, is resolutely counting ballots. No. Six. 
head propped wearily on her hand, is looking over 
No. One's shoulder. No. Ten and No. Eleven, with 
an expression of duty well done, sit erect and im- 
maculate in their seats, heedless of the baleful glares 



26 TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 

cast at them by the others, and apparently deaf to 
the audible sighs of weariness that fill the air. 

No. Two is just pulling her hat off and throws it 
on the floor beside her chair, begins to powder her 
nose but is too tired. 

No. Nine is striding wrath fully up and down the 
room at left. 

No. Twelve stands draped at the window, hum- 
ming under her breath. 

No. Five is snoring softly in her seat and No. 
Seven, head on arms, is leaning on the table. 

No. Six. (Blo-cving nose loudly as No. One fin- 
ished the counting) The results are the same. Ten 
against damages, two for damages. 

fNo. Ten and No. Eleven nod to eacJi other with 
satisfaction.) 

No. Seven. (Arousing to disphiy a tried face) 
I think it's beastly! 

No. Nine. (To No. Twelve) Will you stop 
that infernal humming for one minute, anyhow 

("No. Twelve tosses her head and hums.) 

No. Five. (Waking) What say 

No. Two. Someone must be paying you a nice 
fat sum to stick out like this. 

No. Ten. I want to see him get $5,000.00 dam- 
ages 

No. Eleven. I want to see justice done, that's 
all. 

No. Ten. The poor, dear man, spending all 
his 

No. Eleven, money on that woman, and now 
where is he , 



TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 27 

No. Four. (Vehemently) I wish he was in 
Jerico ! (The others look at her, amazed.) 

No. One. (To No. Ten; It does seem to me 
you could be reasonable 

No. Six. What difference does it make? 

No. Nine. (Stamping up and dozvn) I've lost a 
whole day's cleaning to sit on this jury. 

No. Three. (In a lost and gone voice) And 
I've lost a perfectly good date. 

No. Seven. What will Archibald think 

No. Eight. Who got my children their supper? 

No. Nine. Oh, don't try to impress anybody 
here — they got it themselves as usual. 

No. Eight. (Losing her temper) Is that so? 
Well, I'm as good a housekeeper as the next one 

No. Nine. You keep house like the song bird 
here. 

No. Twelve. (Coming down angrily) Indeed! 
Of course, I consider the source of such remarks, 
my dear madam, and 

No. One. (Scrapping over the slips zuith No. 
Sixj I'll 'tend to the ballots. Don't butt in so 
much 

No. Twelve. Those who are gifted by na- 
ture ("No. Nine laughs) That's what I said. 

Caruso heard me sing, didn't he, and what did he 
say? He said that "after that he had no comment 
to make." 

No. Nine. (Still walking) I can believe it. 

No. Two. (To No. Three j Stop chewing that 
cud. you drive me crazy 

No. Three. Ain't got far to go, have you, 
dearie? (All this is taken practically together.) 

No. One. (Rapping) W^e'll take another ballot. 

No. Seven. (Spreading out despairing hands) 
But, what is the use? Look at the ballots we've 



28 TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 

taken, look at the paper we've wasted — look at the 
muss 

No. Nine. (Bouncing info a. chair) I'm looking 
at it. 

No. Eight. It reminds me of what my Willie 
said in the street car. I asked him what he did with 
the peanut shells, and he piped up so smart : "I put 
'em in the pocket of that man what sat next to me." 
W^ell, I laughed 

No. One. (Firmly) We will take one more bal- 
lot, and — (Fixing No. Ten and No. Eleven zvith 
a fierce glance) — I hope that the ones that don't 

think like we do, will listen to reason (Begins 

to pass out the slips again.) 

No. Two. All this time wasted for a couple of 
old maids what are stuck on the slant of Snodgrass's 

eyebrow (Slie says this in an undertone to No. 

Eight, but No. Ten and No. Eleven hear it.) 

No. Ten. (Bridling) Old maids, are we? — 
W^ell, I'd rather be an old maid and be respectable, 
than be one of them "wife-on-six-months' trial" fe- 
males like some people I know of 

No. Eleven. (Nodding) V\le\\, I guess so 

No. Two. (Furious) All that ails you is that 
you can't get a man so you've got your eye on Snod- 
grass 

No. Ten. (Ignoring the thrust) I'm glad I ain't 
one of them promiscuous creatures 

No. Eleven, with a new husband every week. 

No. Two. (Rapping on the table) Look a-here, 
I won't let anybody insult ine 



No. Six. (Rapping) Order, please 

No. One. I'm running this shebang 

No. Six. It isn't running — my dear madam — er, 

chairman — it has stopped dead in its tracks. We^re 

setting the men a nice 



TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 29 

No. Nine. That's the word, set. It's all we've 
done — just set 

No. Seven. Anyhow. I think that judge is per- 
fectly horrid 

No. Four. Certainly, he was anything but cour- 
teous. 

No. Seven. Just wait till I tell Archibald. • He'll 
come right down and give that judge a piece of his 
mind. 

No. Two. He hasn't any to spare or he wouldn't 
have married yoit. 

No. Seven. (Very angry) Do you insinuate that 
my Archibald hasn't any brains — I want to tell you 
now, that he is the cleverest boy in the world, and — 
oh, well, when cfne is thrown in with such very 
doubtful people 

No. Two. Looka here, I'm just as good as you 
are, or these old hens that are holding up the proces- 
sion. 

No. Ten. Don't put us in your class 

No. Three. My Gawd, nobody could, you're in 
a class by yourself. 

No. One. (Rapping) We'll take one more bal- 
lot — and hurry up 

No. Seven. I'm tired and I want to go home to 
my Archibald. (She dashes the slip to the floor and 
flounces to the zcindozv l.c. No. Five goes after her 
and tries to console her and No. Seven talks and 
pouts) No. sir. I want to go home. 

No. Three. (Holding out her hand) Put it 
here, kid, so do I. Let's go out and tell the old 
cherub on the bench that we're through 

No. Twelve. (Leaning zvearily back in seat) 
One can go to jail for a remark like that — I won't 
take any chances. 

No. Two. I'll ,tell you what. I'll go out and 
vamp the old boy. then I know we can go home 



30 TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 

No. Twelve. Then we ivill go to jail. 

No. Two. Here we go. 

No. One. Sit down and don't be a fool. 

No. Seven. (As No. Two sits again) We won't 
get home to-night. 

No. Eight. We won't get home till Christmas 
the way things is now. Why don't you two — (To 
No. Ten and No. Eleven j — listen to reason? 

No. Ten. It's a matter of principle 

No. Nine. You're mashed on Snodgrass 

No. Four. (Sei'crely) It does begin to look as 
though a strong motive exists. 

No. One. We will take another ballot 

No. Two. I've got writer's cramp now. 

No. Seven. (Stamping foot at ivindoiv) I won't 
ballot any more. 

No. Six. What are you holding out for? 

No. Ten and No. Eleven. I think he is a very 
nice man. 

No. Six. What man, that is a man, expects to 
be reimbursed for the money his courtship cost him ? 

No. Seven. Archibald said it was worth any 
amount to get me. 

No. Three. Kill it, don't let it sufifer. 

No. Twelve. I feel faint (Leans back.) 

No. Three. Pipe the temperamental prima 
donna. 

No. Twelve. (Sitting up angrily) Oh, shut up. 

No. Three. Say, I may be a poor woikin' girl, 
but I don't take no back talk from you. 

No. Twelve. You'll take what I give you. 

No. Three. (Getting up) And you'll take a 
poke in the eye, for that. (Makes for No. Twelve, 
who rises and retreats in alarm. No. One raps 
vainlx for order. No. Ten and No. Eleven jump 
up, shrieking, "Dear me! Dear me!" ) 

No. Nine. (Gets up and grabs No. Three's arm 



TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 31 

and forces her back into seat, aided by No. TwoJ 
Here, here 

No. Four. (Rising, horrified) This is too much. 

No. Eight. Now just calm yourselves 

No. Seven. Oh, ho, ho, bo hoo, I want Archi- 
bald. (Roars while No. Five tries to comfort her) 
I'm scared 

No. One. (As No. Seven tries to get up) Sit 
down. 

No. Five. You're nothing but a big bossy thing 
and it's no wonder we can't decide anything with 
you for the foreman. 

No. One. You— yon idiot (Stops, speech- 
less with wrath.) 

No. Six. Oh, shut up. 

No. Ten. (Settling herself again) Such be- 
havior 

No. Eleven. Woman's place is in the home, 
and 

No. Three. Your's is in the lunatic asylum. 
(Sees No. Four surveying the scene through her 
lorgnette) You make me tired with that monacle. 
I'll bet you can see a nickle at a hundred yards with- 
out it. 

No. Four. Indeed. (Mutters) Impossible per- 
son. 

No. One. Pass back the slips and stop cackling. 

(^No. Three and No. Two freshen up their rnake- 
U'p. No. Twelve sings again. No. Five pol- 
ishes glasses nervously and No. Six blows nose. 
No. Eight sighs audibly, No. Nine yawns, and 
No. Seven zvipes eyes.) 

No. One. Were still ten to two! 

(Then the pent-up fury of the ivomen breaks. All 



32 TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 

talking at once, all crozvding about the fright- 
ened spinsters, several pace the floor, stopping 
to berate No. Ten and No. Eleven, j 

No. Nine. (Shaking No. Eleven by the arm) 
Now you've got to quit this 

No. One. This is awful. 

No. Five. (Aroused from her mildness) What 
are -you thinking of ? 

No. Seven. (Pounces upon No. Ten also) I 
won't stand any more fooUshness — No. Two, I'll 
wring your neck. (To No. Eleven.J 

fNo. Ten and No. Eleven utter little shrieks and 
once in a while above the din they can be heard 
saying:) 

No. Ten. Nice man — cheated by a lot of preju- 
diced women 

No. Eleven. I won't do it. I see ;»y duty — 
poor, dear man 

No. Four. (Deigning to notice No. Twelve) 
W^hat time is it, anyhow? 

No. Twelve. (Over siveefly) It's nine o'clock. 

No.' Four. (Horrified ) And we have been here 
sez^en mortal hours deliberating about a person 
named SNODGRASS? Really! 

No. Six. (Waving hands) This is what is called 
a "Hung" jury. 

No. Three. They oughta both be hung — • — 

No. Two. Come on now 

No. Five. W'hy don't you vote yes? 

No. One. Here, here, we'll take another bal- 
lot 

No. Ten. There's no use in any more ballots. 
I'm going to see that man get his money if we have 
to stay here all day to-morrow. 



TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 33 

No. P^LEVEN. And that's our last word. 

(All crozvd around again and flic liuhbnh is worse 
than ever. All talk at once and jostle No. Ten 
and No. Eleven.^ 

No. Seven. You are wicked old women 



No. Two. He won't marry either of you. 

No. One. Here's your women's jury for you. 

No. Four. (Actually joining in the fray) You 
are both beneath contempt. 

No. Three. My Gawd, can you beat it? 

No. Twelve. You've been bribed. 

No. Ten. Don't you dare call me a thief. 

No. Eleven. Don't you dare touch me. 

No. Ten. Fll call the judge. 

No. Six. Couple of fools. 

No. Nine. I'll slap your face. 

No. Eight. They ought to be horsewhipped. 

No. Ten and No. Eleven. Dear me, dear me ! 

No. Seven. All this time away from Archibald 
and what for? 

No. Twelve. Let the men sit on juries. 

No. Two. Sure, they like to fight. 

No. Six. This is women's day. 

No. One. And night, too, Em thinkin'. 

No. Eleven. .$5,000.00 damages, and that's our 
last word. 

No. Three. Tt would be if I had a gun. 

No. Ten. (Shrieking) Help! Help! 

No. Eleven. Murder! (They try to get azmy 
by huddling into the corner. All this is taken very 
fast and all talk at once.) 

No. EouR. (Getting faint and sinking info her 
chair) Oh, mercy ! 

("No. Twelve applies smelling salts that she fakes 



34 TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 

from her own hag. During all this there is re- 
peated knocking at the door.) 

No. Eight. Hark — hark — someone's at the door. 

No. Ten and Eleven. (Scuttling for the door) 
It's the judge — he's come to rescue us. 

No. Seven. It's Archibald, he's here at last, 
(She runs to the door and rushes past them. No. 
Six gets there last, but shoves them all aside. No. 
One starts for door also. All turn and No. Four 
sits up.) 

No. Six. (Opening the door) What is it? (Is 
surprised at a note that is handed in) From the 
Judge? Oh, very well. (Begins to tear it open as 
the door closes again. No. One grabs it out of her 
hand.) 

No. One. I'm foreman of this jury yet, and I'll 
do the reading. ("No. Ten and No. Eleven sneak 
back and stand at window l.c. trying to settle their 
ruffled plumage like a couple of angry hens. No. 
One takes her place at the head of the table) Take 
your seats and shut your mouths and listen to this. 
(They crowd about the table, but do not sit. No. 
Ten and No. Eleven come down l. No. One takes 
note from envelope, opens it, glances at it and looks 
astounded. Reads in a breathless manner) "Word 
has just been received by the Court that the plaintiff, 
James Snodgrass, and the defendant, Miss Amelia 
Stumps, have been married this evening. The case 
is therefore dismissed !" 

(There is a gasp and the jury is speechless with hor- 
ror. No. Ten and No. Eleven finallv find voice 
and shriek, "MARRIED?" No. Two, No. 
Twelve and No. Nine fall into seats, absolutely 
overcome.) 



TWELVE GOOD MEN AND TRUE 35 

No. Four. ' (Spreading out her hands) And we 
— zve've been here scz'en hours! 

No. Three. (Falling info her seat, clapping her 
hand to her forehead) "Oh. Death ! where is thy 
sting?" 

CURTAIN 



X, 



The Touch-Down 

A comedy in four acts, by Marion Short. 8 males, 6 feitiales, but 
any number of characters can be introduced in the ensembles. Cos- 
tumes modern. One interior scene throughout the play. Time, 2'/^ 
hours. 

This play, written for the use of clever amateurs, is the story of 
life in Siddell, a Pennsylvania co-educational college. It deals with 
the vicissitudes and final triumph of the Siddell Football Eleven, and 
the humorous and dramatic incidents connected therewith. 

"The Touch-Down" has the true varsity atmosphere, college songs 
are sung, and the piece is lively and entertaining throughout. High 
schools will make no mistake in producing this play. We strongly 
recommend it as a high-class and well-written comedy. 

Price, 30 Cents. 

Hurry, Hurry, Hurry 

A comedy in three acts, by LeRoy Arnold. S males, 4 females. 
One interior scene. Costumes modern. Plays 2^ hours. 

The story is based on the will of an eccentric aunt. It stipulates 
that her pretty niece must be affianced before she is twenty-one, and 
married to her fiaiue within a year, if she is to get her spinster 
relative's million. Father has nice notions of honor and fails to tell 
daughter about the will, so that she may make her choice untram- 
meled by any other consideration than that of true love. The action 
all takes place in the evening the midnight of which will see her 
reach twenty-one. Time is therefore short, and it is hurry, hurry, 
hurry, if she is to become engaged and thus save her father from 
impending bankruptcy. 

The situations are intrinsically funny and the dialogue is sprightly. 
The characters are natural and unaffected and the action moves with 
a snap such as should be expected from its title. Price, 30 Cents. 

The Varsity Coach 

A three-act play of college life, by Marion Short, specially adapted 
to performance by amateurs or high school students. 5 males 6 
females, but any number of boys and girls may be introduced in the 
action of the play. Two settings necessary, a college boy's room and 
the university campus. Time, about 2 hours. 

Like many another college boy, "Bob" Selby, an all-round popular 
college man, becomes possessed of the idea that athletic prowess is 
more to be desired than scholarship. He is surprised in the midst of 
a "spread" in his room in Regatta week by a visit from his aunt 
who is putting him through college. Aunt Serena, "a lady of the old 
school and the dearest little woman in the whole world," has hastened 
to make this visit to her adored nephew under the mistaken impression 
that he is about to receive the Fellowes prize for scholarship. Her 
grief and chagrin when she learns that instead of the prize Robert 
has received "a pink card," which is equivalent to suspension for poor 
scholarship, gives a touch of pathos to an otherwise jolly comedy of 
college life. How the repentant Robert more than redeems hiniself, 
carries off honors at the last, and in the end wins Ruth, the faithful 
little sweetheart of the "Prom" and the classroom, makes a story of 
dramatic interest and brings out very clearly certain phases of modern 
college life. There are several opportunities for the introduction of 
college songs and "stunts." Price, 30 Cents. 

(The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) 
SAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th Street. New York City 

New and Explicit Descriptive Catalogue Mailed Free os Request 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
016 102 451 



The Return of Hi Jinks 

A comedy in four acts, by Marion Short, author of "The Varsity 
Coach," "the Touch-Down," etc. 6 males, 8 females. Costumes 
modern. One interior scene. 

This comedy is founded upon and elaborated from a farce comedy 
in two acts written by J. H. Horta, and originally produced at Tuft's 
College. 

Hiram Poynter Jinks, a Junior in Hoosic College (Willie Collier 
type), and a young moving picture actress (Mary Pickford type), are 
the leading characters in this lively, modern farce. 

Thomas Hodge, a Senior, envious of the popularity of Jinks, wishes 
to think up a scheme to throw ridicule upon him during a visit of 
the Hoosic Glee Club to Jinks's home town. Jinks has obligingly acted 
as a one-day substitute in a moving picture play, in which there is a 
fire scene, and this gives Hodge his cue. He sends what seems to 
be a bona fide account of Jink's heroism at a Hoosic fire to Jink's 
home paper. Instead of repudiating his laurels as expected, Jinks 
decides to take a flyer in fame, confirms the fake story, confesses to 
being a hero and is adoredl by all the girls, to the chagrin and dis- 
comfiture of Hodge. Of course, the truth comes out at last, but 
Jinks is not hurt thereby, and his romance with Mimi Mayflower 
comes to a successful termination. 

This is a great comedy for amateurs. It is full of funny situations 
and is sure to please. Price, 30 Cents. 



J 



une 

A most successful comedy-drama in four acts, by Marie Doran, 
author of "The New Co-Ed," "Tempest and Sunshine," "Dorothy's 
Neighbors," etc. 4 males, 8 females. One interior scene. Costumes 
modern. Plays 2]/^ hours. 

This play has a very interesting group of young people. June is 
an appealing little figure, an orphan living with her aunt. There arc 
a number of delightful, life-like characters: the sorely tried likeabh; 
Mrs. Hopkins, the amusing, haughty Miss Banks of the glove depart- 
ment, the lively Tilly and Milly, who work in the store, and ambitiou;; 
Snoozer; ]\Irs. Hopkins's only son, who aspires to be President of the 
Uuited States, but finds his real sphere is running the local trolley 
car. The play is simplicity itself in the telling of an everyday story, 
and the scenic requirements call for only one set, a room in the 
boarding house "of Mrs. Hopkins, while an' opportunity is afforded to 
introduce any number of extra characters. Musical numbers may be 
introduced, if desired. Price, 30 Cents. 

Tempest and Sunshine 

A comedy drama in four acts, by Marie Doran. 5 males and 3 
females. One exterior and three interior scenes. Plays about 2 hours 

Every school girl has revelled in the sweet simplicity and gentle- 
ness of the characters interwoven in the charms that Mary J. Holmes 
commands in her story of "Tempest and Sunshine." We can strongly 
recommend this play as one of the best plays for high school^ pro- 
duction published in recent years. Price, 30 Cents. 

(The Above Are Subject tc Royalty When Produced) 
SAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 V\ est 3Slh Street, New Yoik City 

New and Explicit Descriptive Catalogue Mailed Free en Request 



